Friday, 17 December 2010

A perfect day, by this river

sunset over thames 

Maybe it's just a coincidence; or maybe a trick played by my evilish subconscious; anyhow the two songs in the title are always side by side in any of my playlist: always in the same order, I got almost no time to recover from the emotion caused by Lou Reed that here comes Brian Eno.

I never tried to change this pattern in my musical choices, nor I ever wanted to.
I find that the two songs, combined together, just as they are, fit most of my moods and "emotional phases".
They have a streak of bittersweetness, longing, hope and despair that will fit in most of the moments of life.

I received terrible news from Italy in the past few days and I had to deal with the situation and the feelings generated by it.
Tragedy stroke out of the blue and I was left to my own devices to face the big questions of life, knowing fully there's no answer for them. 
But at the same time the world keeps on moving and this is what causes problems, most of the time at least: every one of us is caught in his/her own little world, with problems, worries, good and bad news, so that it's almost an automatic self-defence response to not pay attention to every problem around us.
 
I struggled quite a lot not to send to hell people around me, even friends: "Do you really think this is a problem!? Do you really believe this is the end of the line for you, the worse thing that can happen?! Do you really think your life is meaningless??? Well, let me tell you one thing: you're perfectly right on the last statement. Now just do me a favour: either disappear or grow up, or both!"
Yet, I didn't say it to anybody, mostly because it was a instinctive reaction, made of pain and annoyance. Furthermore. I've learnt to accept that not everybody reacts the same way and is able to display the same level of understanding and empathy (wisdom of the old folks!?!), so I stopped being hurt by people who react in quite selfish ways... "Oh, well, yeah, tragedy, sorry for your friend, now let me tell you how miserable my life is".

When moments like this hit me in the face, Lou and Brian are able to work magic: they just keep me hanging on and I remember that everything, no matter how big or small, tragic or joyful, is part of something bigger. Something bigger than us, almost impossible to understand, something called life.
I set the songs on repeat and remind myself that the only way out is to try my best to give life a meaning: remember the people that wandered on my same path for a while, cherish the loved ones, cry and smile.

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