Saturday, 15 March 2014

bags of wisdom

I'm not that fond of new age "pearl of wisdom".
I try to stay clear from inspirational quotes too as I find they make me over anxious and consequently depressed. As if I needed an extra help to be that by myself!
Yet I can't really escape them as they seem to pop out of everywhere. 
The fact I like herbal tea doesn't help as apparently some herbal tea producer are over fond of this type of quotes.
Problem is, not just the quote itself, but the fact that they seem to pick the most atrocious quote ever. And a good 70% of them seems to have been translated into English using Google translate. They make my grammar-sensitive skin irk in annoyance.

Yet, some days ago, fixing myself another cup of tea at work I couldn't help but stare at the small quote written on the tea bag.

I tried to shrug it off, but the words kept repeating in my head.
That's how I should have behaved this week, how I should behave normally.

Instead I kept being too harsh.
Instead I keep not being able to forgive myself, while at the same time I grant way too many second chances to others.

Part of me knows that if I could accept things as they are right now, I'd have more chances to change and improve them. A softer approach to the problems could help me finding a different solution to them, yet I keep banging my head against the wall.

I thought I was learning to be a bit more accepting and tolerant towards myself, but this Saturday I find myself back at square one. So frustrating, so annoying.
And I also run out of herbal tea.


  1. a chi lo dici...per qualche strano meccanismo mentale sono sempre pronta a dare a tutti le attenuanti generiche (poverino, è la sua mentalità/situazione familiare/traumi infantili) ma a me non le do mai. Per cui rimango sempre fregata e mi aspetto troppo da me

    1. A volte mi domando se tutto ciò non abbia anche un altro risvolto, vale a dire: non è che io rimango fregata perché proietto aspettative molto alte pure sugli altri?
      Non è che rimango delusa perché penso "insomma, io avrei fatto questo e altro per te, mentre tu non hai mosso nemmeno un mignolo"?

      Non so se mi aspetto molto dagli altri per via del fatto che pretendo molto da me stessa o viceversa. Sta di fatto che le delusioni sono talmente tante che rendono particolarmente indimenticabili i casi contrari.

      Poi vabbè, c'è gente che evidentemente è di un egoismo tale che forse tutte queste nostre seghe mentali non solo non se le fa, ma non le concepisce neppure!

  2. ciao donne ...come stai??? I'm very nearly SINGLE. Remind me never ever ever to believe in love or marriage or the truth ever again. When my house is sold i'm getting on a plane and coming out to Turin .. in the summer. On my own, well .. with a couple of bottles of mavro daphne .. a broken heart and fabulous hair ..:)

    1. Mavrodaphne, new haircut, summer in Turin... I can add some amazing ice-cream and the compulsory mosquito repellent!

  3. Aren't "inspirational" quotes awful? They seem to rely on a sort of Victorian sense that we all 'ought' to improve ourselves, and with that I mean that really sanctimonious nonsense. Argh. Who's got time for that? Yes, let's shrug those off and try to not let them intrude on our mood (easier said than done).
    Some are more like mantras, like your tea bag attachment. They are the sort of thing that make us relax and smile a bit. The kinds of phrases that make us feel good and increase serenity - those phrases and mantras I definitely like!

    I have a feeling that being too harsh on yourself feels like a trained behaviour, like for example a guilty conscience (I hate feeling that) - neither is beneficial nor useful. It's as if we are trying to punish ourselves. What's the use of that?

    But banging your head against a wall is something I also recognise. I started a blog (in German, sorry) where I take the opportunity to examine some things I keep doing, stuff that annoys me. I have this instinct that if I can figure out why I do something, where that behaviour and motivation for it comes from, then I can figure out how to change it. With time. And the nice thing is that we are not stuck with the routine ways we have always thought and behaved, we can change. It might take a while, but it is possible.

    I wish you much serenity and not just lower levels of anxiety but much positive energy. I hope you can access that kindness towards yourself that we all deserve.
    Much love.

    1. I think we're almost "brainwashed" into this sort of strive for perfection.
      The problem is not only that perfection does not exist, but also that what society perceives as "perfection" is so wrong on so many level that we're bound not only for failure but also for heavy consequences on our well being.
      Be this, don't do that, wear this, don't cut your hair like that: since we're small children, we're kind of forced into a prefabricated notion of what we ought to be and how we should behave in order to be appreciated and loved that we risk ending up not being able to love ourselves.

      German blog might be too tough for my high school "one beer, please and where is the station?" German, but I'll give it a try! :-)