Tuesday, 3 March 2015

to Shibboleth

The crack is still there; it’s not so easy to find, if one doesn’t know where to look for it.

You are still there; you’re not easy to find, if one doesn’t know where to look for you.
But I know where to find you because I walked across your edges so many times your path is etched in my brain.

Some years ago I joked about you, Shibboleth, the crack at Tate.
But as the three Kings used to say, I started a joke without knowing that the joke was on me (bonus point for whoever spots the pop reference): now, each time I am back in London I naturally gravitates back to the Thames and the Southwark and I head back to Tate Modern, looking for you.

That’s because, back then, I didn’t know you meant so much for me, or maybe I knew it, but found it hard to admit it to myself.
Cuts will heal but scars remain and even if time will make them look lighter and fainter on the skin, you know where they are and you will always feel them.

A quick, delicate touch over it and you will be able to retrace them and remember everything about them.
The gap you’re about Shibboleth, is the gap i feel inside between what I used to be, what I am and what I wish I could be: a somehow vague notion of longing and belonging.
I don’t laugh about you anymore Shibboleth, because now I understand a little bit better: you’re just like the cracks I got inside, they’re healing but the can’t disappear, some memory, distant echoes of them still remain. I don't need to think about them too much to know that they're still there, shaping the path I'm walking on. And I don’t need to look down to know I’m just walking along the same old edges.


2 comments:

  1. I got it! Bee Gees! What did I win? :-)
    This reveals a lot about my trash music culture ...
    How are you? Did you knit anything by Asa?

    Ciao!

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  2. I finished a sweater using the ziggurat method and now I'm ready for the second one (after I'm done with the socks I'm working on)
    The award is you won't have to hear me singing that song, ever. Some people did and I think they're still struggling to overcome the distress of it.

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